Episode 7 - State of The Saga // Autumn (pt. 2)

For those wondering about the fate of Spell Saga, here is the post-concussion roadmap & breakdown of what to expect in the next year.

Part 1

Today is the 13th anniversary of the day I came up with Spell Saga. 

Thanks to everyone who waited for the 2nd Edition. You’re probably wondering what took so long (and rightfully so!) 

I’ve  asked myself that same question. And found the answers needed to continue the journey. In my search for those answers, I felt there was no choice but to go radio-silent for the last few months--But don’t worry! I also worked on Spell Saga the WHOLE TIME, and the project has never been in a healthier state.

I needed to learn how to make things faster. How to keep my promises and outmaneuver the unexpected doom of “being alive”.  What I found was ways to streamline my processes, and worked hard to create the structures needed in myself and the brand to generate massive leverage. 

Because of this, I can safely share the following product roadmap:

“All Our Uncounted Stars” Tabletop Novel demo #2 (Q1 2023, no bullshit.)

Hate Not The Night Libretto part 1.2 (Q1 2023, no bullshit.)

The Book of Nog Serialized Novel (starts Q1 2023, runs for two years+, no bullshit.)

The 3 Lore Sections of the New Website (launching Q1 2023. Again, no bullshit.)

The New Weatherguard *FREE* Fan Club (Well, whaddya know? Q1 2023 again.)

And once those are squared away, I have these products waiting in the wings:

“The Last Minstrel - Yellow” Tabletop Novel demo #1 (Q1 2023 yes, that’s real.)

“The Last Minstrel - Blue” Tabletop Novel demo #1 (Q2 2023 unless I get another concussion)

“Good Riddance; Bad Weather” Tabletop Novel demo #1 (Q2 2023 or another bad covid infection )

The New Minstrel Guard $5 Fan Club (Q2 2023 no no, I’m way ahead and COUNTING on another calamity. In fact, I’ve been working them into the schedule!)

I want to thank everyone who subscribed to our trial run of the fan club. I killed it because I have the data I need, and because I can’t charge people without releasing products. Your subscriptions are canceled, but the debt is remembered. Those of you who signed up in good faith will be granted the rarest of rewards. Look to the future (Don’t worry Kosteri, I do remember the package I owe you…I’m waiting for a reason <3 ).

There is no story without conflict. Spell Saga 2nd Edition is finally on track after several unexpected turns of misfortune and discovery. If you want to hear about the answers I found during my radio silence, then read on:

Part 2

I am trembling as I type this.

I like presenting myself a certain way. When thoughts leave through my teeth or fingertips, they sound like jumbled chaos. But you know what? I’m weird. And I’m just gonna lean into it.

There is a coin. Flipping through the dark. On one side of this coin is ADHD. The letters are scratched over intricate carvings of what the coin was supposed to be worth. The coin is in my thoughts, waiting to land. If I’m lucky, it will land on the other side, covering the ADHD and allowing me to win against whatever I’ve gambled: finishing a project, telling a joke, grocery shopping or sticking to a schedule, etc. But I don’t WANT it to land. I want it to keep spinning through the dark, where the idea of betting on myself never ends, is never proven to be a gamble. Because here, in the dark, the coin is passing through motes of light, where everyone can catch a glimpse of my unfinished brilliance.

I take telekinetic medication, it lets me hold the coin up and force it to fall the right way, to hide the ADHD down against the ground. But I keep losing the same bet, over and over again. Why?

Because the other side isn’t “NOT ADHD”. 

No, the other side has a different inscription: “Autistic Spectrum Disorder”. 

PART 3

It’s as simple, painful and healing as this: I’m autistic. What some would call ASD, or others might say “high functioning autism”. 

There is no official diagnosis. But EVEN if I received a covid-style nasal swab for “The Aut” (as dumb internet kids would probably start calling it, were such a test available)...And EVEN if that test were negative….I would know the truth. Just as surely as I don’t know how to read certain facial expressions.

I wouldn’t be anymore on the spectrum, or any less, if someone ran a test and made me color some shapes in, or whatever the fuck they have people do to judge them in a clinical manner.

I would describe it as a devastating relief. 

I can’t do things the way other people can. 

But I can also do things that no one else can do.

I have always been driven. The truth is that I STILL do more shit than anyone I know. But a lot of stuff is just…embarrassingly hard for me. I get overwhelmed a lot. And it affects my productivity. But just knowing that I’m not sick, or lazy, or stupid. That I don’t need to feel ashamed of my constant struggle to survive, let alone make stuff… That’s a big deal. My burnout used to last anywhere from a few weeks to several months. Now I can fix it within 24 hours. That’s massive leverage. 

Making things for you continues to be a joy (even when I’m cursing and making horrible faces at my own bad writing). 

Now that I know I’m autistic-- I can work with it. Spell Saga might get off track sometimes, and for that I hope you can forgive me. I promise to do my best. And that Spell Saga WILL go according to plan, if not schedule!

NEXT TIME:

I think it’s a good idea to start posting newsletters more regularly. Between both sides of my neurodivergent coin, I tend to lose track of time, fall into perfectionism and end up looking as if this isn’t the most important project of my life. Spell Saga IS my lie. Everyday. And it’s time I start sharing the world of it with you (for better, or worse).

To make sure that I’m not just pleasuring myself with dreams and plans (a delirium suffered by all who make and create things), I’ve put an insane amount of work into several special documents. I’m gonna append the next few newsletters talking about them, which should give us all a solid foundation about how and why I’m making the choices that I do.

-mE.